By Sabrina Manganella Simmons
Coastal Parent

"I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life . . ."
- Henry D. Thoreau


Forget resolutions.

Resolutions always seem to be so punitive - always about what you're doing wrong and will soon do right. Lose weight, save for college, train for the marathon, whatever the resolution is, it seems to always be about tightening the belt, and striving for something.

Striving for things is not bad, but in a vacuum, it often is more about will power than grace. Who wants to grit their teeth through this life, when we could be smiling - or laughing.

Instead of resolutions, take this changing of the year to examine your life, your priorities and your values. Do a family inventory to see if you spend time, energy and money on issues that affirm what your family's values.

Name your family's values, and write them down. Then brainstorm together as a family to come up with ways you can spend your time and energy on making those values a part of your life.

Do you believe in peace? Then find a way to support a political candidate who supports peace.

Do you value religion? Find a way to share your religious values with your children - whether that is finding books to read about God, finding a church or praying with your children.

Are you an environmentalist? Take the family out for a nature walk. It doesn't have to be every month - like some sort of hellish routine - just do it once and let it come naturally.

Do you value family meals, but never have time to sit together as a family? Then start going out for pizza every Thursday night as a family or start cooking a big Sunday dinner for the family once a week.

The idea is live consciously rather than unconsciously.

The push of our consumer culture, and the plethora of glossy catalogs that show perfectly dressed people in professionally designed homes (and a stylist for the photo shoot), can propel us to live in a way that doesn't really represent what we truly want.

But, if you've just gotta make a resolution, let it be this one:

I'm taking back family life and will start living according to my family's values.